Stop these bad dating habits right now!

bad dating habits, dating, online dating, dating habits

Are you getting dates? If not it could be that you have developed some bad dating habits.

In this post, we explore what these bad habits could be and how we overcome them.

1. Being too available

There is a very fine balance when dating regarding time. I think these days we always seem time pressured and never seem to have enough of it!

You have to juggle so many things in your life, including your dating relationship.

But don’t be too available in the early stages of a relationship. For example, don’t say you can make a date today at the drop of a hat and then after the date call them again and ask if they want to go on another date.

Imagine you were on the other end of that, what would you be thinking?

  • 1.1. Wow they are very keen
  • 1.2. Don’t they have any other friends?
  • 1.3. Are they desperate?
  • 1.4. Are they willing to cancel their entire social life just for me? (Scary)

You wouldn’t want to come across in any of these ways, would you? But equally not being available enough also has its problems, namely…

2. Not being available enough

Quite simply, this gives the other person the following thoughts:

  • 2.1. If they don’t have the time to date? Why are they bothering and wasting my time?
  • 2.2 Don’t they like me? Are they too afraid to tell me to my face?
  • 2.3 they are not interested in me

Plus of course, there is no way for you to really get to know that other person,

As mentioned above you don’t want to be available all the time, but equally, you don’t want to be unavailable all of the time! So you must get the balance right. If you’re planning to meet up, give a couple of dates, if you can’t make a date you have set

3. Engaging in off-putting behavior

I’m sure when we think of it we all know examples of off-putting behavior but here are some we thought of:

  • 3.1 picking your nose!
  • 3.2 not blowing your nose when it is running
  • 3.3 Farting
  • 3.4 drinking more than you should and making an idiot of yourself
  • 3.5 Making every other word a swear word

These type of behaviors are not going to do you any good at all. Would you want to show off anyone who does any of the above to your friends and family?

The answer, of course, is no.

Therefore in their mind, they are going to completely turn off you. Be a gentleman/lady and you will find you get much better results.

4. Online Stalking

So it’s ok to google their name once before you meet up just so you know they are not involved in anything they shouldn’t be or covering something up. But don’t stray too much further than the results page.

Certainly do not try and stalk them on Facebook or twitter and definitely do not try and track down their ex on social media.

What we are trying to say is a quick search is fine to establish would they are, a full blow investigation/stalking (like opening a “CSI” case) is simply unacceptable.

5. Being too picky

The internet dating world really has meant that we can all be a little too picky. People now turn off people if their eyes are “blue” and they only like “green”.

If there is one problem with internet dating, it’s that you can be too picky. So don’t have that list of 288 “must haves”. Trim it down to your “must have” 3 requirements and if they meet those give them the first date.

Who knows opening your net a little wider might just bag you the one you want.

6. Putting your life aside

Don’t give up on your friends, your hobbies, and your social life, just because you have met someone who you like. In the early stages, you should try and still keep in touch with those groups as well as spend time with your date.

This way they know what you value in your life. As your relationship progresses you can then introduce them to your friends and people in your social circle.

Dating is one big juggling act. You have to find the time to fit everyone in and it is never easy. But a golden rule is to give everyone a piece of you and let everyone know why it is only that time you can give to them.

Plus give yourself some time so you can unwind and relax.

7. Being stuck in the past

You should never dwell on the past even when you’re not in a relationship. The past is after all the past! So move on and give every new date a new opportunity, don’t expect them to fail like your ex did!

So move on, get on with life and enjoy. Look forward and enjoy life and the new experiences that come with it.

 

So there you have our 7 bad dating habits!  Which ones are you guilty of?

Have we missed any from our list? Put them in the comments if we have.

 

Other similar articles you might be interested in:

The truth about why funny men are so attractive

Don’t make these 5 internet dating mistakes

Join our community

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Restaurants in London with a view

Restaurants in London with a view, london skyline, london, london view

We all like eating great food while taking in a breath-taking view, don’t we? Here are our top recommendations for restaurants in London with a view.

1. Barbecoa

The view here overlooking the dome of St. Pauls is simply stunning. It has to be one of the most imposing in London.

Men will be really happy here since Jamie Oliver has teamed up with American barbeque maestro Adam Perry Lang to create a menu that celebrates any type of meat!

You always know you are going to have a great time at one of Jamie’s restaurants and this one doesn’t disappoint, with a great view thrown in!

Click HERE to book a table now!

2. Blueprint Cafe

Wall to ceiling windows looks out over the Thames and Tower Bridge. The yellow canopy’s really make you feel like you are eating al fresco. It has a great menu and a fantastic buzz. We would highly recommend a visit.

Click HERE to book a table now!

3. Duck and Waffle

Situated on the 40th floor of the Heron Tower, the restaurant has its own entrance on the ground floor. The glass lift on the outside of the building will whizz you up to the 40th floor.

The views are stunning, you can look out over the gherkin, which I think is one of London’s oddest but still beautifully shaped buildings, or look in the opposite direction for the Thames and tower bridge. The food is excellent and the restaurant has a good feel to it!

Click HERE to book a table now!

4. Hutong

With its origins in Hong Kong, they have now ventured to the capital and opened a restaurant half way up the Shard. Naturally, it, therefore, has stunning views. It serves a Sichuan and northern Chinese menu.

The decor is a mix of plate glass and ersatz Old Beijing decor with hard chairs thrown in. In order to replicate the original, they have even brought some of the staff over while the restaurant is establishing itself.

Click HERE to book a table now!

5. The Oxo Tower

The Oxo Tower is a London landmark. Within the Tower, you find a delightful restaurant, which has a formal dining room, a brasserie, and a relaxed bar.

A glass frontage makes the most of the fantastic river views, the brasserie terrace on a summer night is the ideal place to be.

Click HERE to book a table now!

6. Plateau

The aptly named Plateau sits on the fourth floor of Canada Place, with sensational views of Canary Wharf from its huge glass and metal façade.

The interior aims to impress with iconic contemporary furniture – marble-topped white Euro Saarinen Tulip tables and matching chairs, and Arco floor lamps – but the restaurant isn’t just a designer showroom for the moneyed classes; the beautifully presented cuisine is testament to the fact that head chef Allan Pickett takes his job very seriously, producing inspired dishes that pay more than just lip service to the principle of seasonal eating.

Click HERE to book a table now!

7. Skylon

Skylon, set on the first floor of the Royal Festival Hall is a fantastic viewpoint for the Thames. The lofty ceilings and gigantic windows allow you to eat great food and look at an ever-changing picture postcard view of the river Thames.

It is simply spectacular, day or night. The chic cocktail bar, amid sofas in the center of the space, also offers a dose of metropolitan pizazz.

Dining areas are split between the brasserie-style Grill on one side of the bar and the Restaurant, with a more fine-dining menu, on the other.

Click HERE to book a table now!

 

So there you have our top 7 restaurants in London with a view.  Have you been to any? Have we missed any? Add your comments below.

 

Fun First or Second date ideas

Fun first or second date ideas, dating, date, fun date, first date, second date, dating

Here is a list of fun first or second date ideas.  When we started to think about it we came up with more than we expected!

1. BYO (bring your own) picnic

So one of you brings say the drink, blanket, plates, and cutlery, the other brings the nibbles. Then all you need to do is decide on a good location and away you go!

A great park is a good choice but equally, go for a promenade or just some green open space.

With an eye to safety make sure it is a public place where there will still be plenty of people.

Oh and if you get the slightly easier deal (i.e. the drinks) try to still make an effort, like make your own cordial or lemonade.

2. Take a cooking class

An excellent idea! It’s really good fun, you should have a good laugh and in most cases, you get to eat what you make.

3. Go to a food/beer festival or street fair.

Probably a better idea in the summer as there should be some choice. In London, for example, they host the Capital FM festival, at Christmas, there are plenty of Christmas markets and in the summer towns and villages across the UK have beer and cider festivals (of course make sure your date enjoys beer or cider before you suggest that one!)

4. Head to a theme park

You are never too old to enjoy a good theme park (unless of course, you suffer from vertigo).

5. Go to an outdoor movie or concert

Again probably something for the summer, but these do spring up all over the place. Keep your eye out for them.

There is certainly a lot in London but again they do run throughout the UK.

6. Go to the races

Going to the races is great fun and many of the racecourses around the UK have evening meetings in the summer.

Newmarket, for example, has a brilliant evening of around 6 races, followed by a popular singer, it’s called “Newmarket nights” and full details can be found here.

7. Bike ride

If you both have your own bike and enjoy riding this will be a great date. Why not explore somewhere different for both of you, that will make it much more fun and you will both get a great sense of adventure.

If you don’t have your own bike, don’t stop there are many places around the UK hire them.

I recently visited the new forest for example and there were plenty of places to hire a bike.

8. Walk London

Why not plan a good walk in London. There are plenty of books that detail good walks and also act as a guide on your journey, picking out points of interest and providing suggestions on great pubs you should visit.

In the early days of a relationship, its best to walk in public places and you are certainly going to get that in London. Once you know each other much better you can move on to hiking in the countryside!

9. Pretend to be a tourist

Visit somewhere as a tourist, it could be a country house, a park, a museum or a planetarium. Enjoy learning new things, seeing new things and more importantly experiencing new things.

Plus most attractions these days have great cafes, which you can stop at whilst you are there. If you are close to London then this is a really easy thing to do as there are 1,000’s of tourist attractions in the City.

10. Go banger car racing

This is the motorsport where they can and do bash into everyone! It’s a great spectacle, really exciting and unlike F1 there is lots of overtaking.

11. Go to a sporting event

Why not go and see a sporting event, it might be tennis at Wimbledon or the O2 arena, 20/20 cricket at Lords, a football match. Enjoy the experience and have fun shouting for your favorite team on the day.

12. Visit a zoo

Everyone loves to watch animals of all shapes and sizes as they are so much fun! It’s a great excuse to be able to relive those childhood memories.

Plus with so many animals you will have plenty to talk about. London obviously has a great zoo but there are plenty more scattered throughout the country.

13. Try a painting class

Why not try a painting class together? You don’t even have to be any good at it to make it fun, in fact, the worst you are the funnier it will be.

If you don’t want to ruin an art class, why not have a go yourself, all you need is some white paper, a few pencils, some paints and a great view to paint!

Go on explore that inner artist, most people also find art is very good at destressing.

14. Go bowling

It’s a great activity that anyone can have a good time doing. Even if you are no good it doesn’t even matter.

Just have fun having a go. You can even put a silly bet on it which is not dependent on the score, like the one who gets the most gutter balls wins!

15. Karaoke

If you’re both into your singing why not head to a Karaoke bar and sing the night away. Certainly not an activity you want to do if one of you doesn’t enjoy singing!

Also, try to stay clear of romantic duets such as “My heart will go on!”

16. Live music

Why not go and watch a band in a bar. There are plenty of gig night around, they are usually fairly inexpensive and who knows you might spot the next big band!

17. Pool

Why not find a pub with a pool table and have a go at pool! It’s an easy game to have a go at and you don’t have to be all that good to still have a chance of winning.

In London, there are several “pool bars” where they have the slightly larger American Pool tables which are great fun!

18. Ping Pong

Similar to pool tables, bars are now beginning to introduce ping pong tables. There is already one in London and I’m sure the trend will catch on!

19. Darts

Again on the same theme as the two above, why not go to a bar with a dartboard. There are several different games you can play on a dart board, so challenge yourself to something new and give it a go.

20. Board Games

Either take a board game to a pub, or play it at one of your homes. Go for a “nostalgic” one from your youth, such as mouse trap, buckaroo, boggle etc.

If you don’t own one you can usually pick one up from a charity shop pretty cheap.

21. Challenge yourselves to complete a jigsaw

No I’m not talking about a 20 piece jigsaw, go for a 500 piece jigsaw and have a go at completing it in an evening. Depending on how difficult it is, you might have to leave it unfinished and come back to it the next night!

22. Dance class

Perhaps not everyone’s cup of tea, but why not give dancing a go? It will be fairly relaxed and you should have a laugh trying to learn the steps. There is no such thing as two left feet! Buy guys just try not to step on your dates toes too many times!

 

So there you have it, our list of 22 fun first or second date ideas!  So have you tried any of these? Have we missed any from our list.

Leave a comment below to tell us where we have gone wrong!

 

We have some other great blog posts which you can read here:

Top 10 most romantic restaurants in London

Should you plan a first date?

 

So why not join our excellent Facebook group called “What’s the weather like up there” (We hope you like the name as much as us!), it’s great to share tall stories like this one, or tall humor, jokes, basically anything tall-related. You can join by clicking HERE.

 

Top 10 most Romantic Restaurants in London

most Romantic Restaurants in London, restaurants, London, romantic, romantic restaurant

Here is our list of the top 10 most romantic restaurants in London.  Great for date night.

We wouldn’t suggest visiting one for your first date, but perhaps 3 months in or for a special anniversary.

1. Berners Tavern

It’s a very glamorous affair eating at Berners Tavern. It has a huge lobby bar which is absolutely stunning.

The vast dining room has an ornate ceiling, very low lighting, and lively bar area. It really is the ambiance that makes this restaurant one of the most romantic in London.

The lighting itself is so low in fact it can make reading the brilliant menu very difficult!

Click HERE to book a table now!

2. Bob Bob Ricard

A great place to go if you want to sprinkle some fun on the date (and remember if you’re associated with fun that is really going to help you secure that partner!).

There is fun everywhere you look, from the 20’s decor to the little touches, like a “press for champagne” buzzer in every booth. This place will continue to intrigue and impress and be a real conversation starter.

Click HERE to book a table now!

3. Claude’s Kitchen

Set above a pub, it might not sound the most romantic place to go. However, don’t be put off by that!

The atmosphere is terrific, the staff are efficient, warm and welcoming and that palate of the chef is extraordinary.

It really is a relaxed place to go and will not break the bank in the process.

Click HERE to book a table now!

4. Clos Maggiore

If you are looking for a romantic setting, Clos Maggiore has it all. From the wood panel lined dining room, to the beautifully appointed conservatory.

Our favorite area is the conservatory, with the blossoming trees lining the walls, to the stone fireplace at the far end. It is a real visual treat, which serves excellent food.

It’s well worth a visit. We have been there several times for the pre-theatre menu which is excellent value, the al-a-cart can be a little on the expensive side.

Click HERE to book a table now

5. The Delaunay

Grand European cafes have provided the inspiration for the decor. It has green leather banquette seating, dark wood, brass rails and a black and white marble floor. The service is brilliant and the food simply sublime.

Click HERE to book a table now!

6. Galvin Bistrot de Luxe

This group is well known for some of the classiest and beautifully turned out French restaurants and this one, being their first is no exception.

The food is classically French, with a little Italian twist. The dark chocolate wood paneling and globe lighting make it feel intimate and relaxed. You will never go far wrong choosing to eat at a Galvin restaurant.

Click HERE to book a table now!

7. Hakkasan

Here you will get classy Cantonese cooking, it sets a high benchmark for Chinese restaurants that few manage to reach.

Already with a Michelin star, it as you expect serves great food. The interior is modern and well presented, if you’re looking for a classy Chinese restaurant then this is it.

Click HERE to book a table now!

8. J Sheekey Oyster Bar

Have you ever tried Oysters? Would your date think it was a fun idea? If you have never tried and want to experience London’s finest then head here.

It’s a beautiful restaurant, which shouts French from the street side where large red canopies overhang the street edge. Go on be adventurous give them a go!

Click HERE to book a table now!

9. Momo

Still, London’s most glamorous Moroccan restaurant, Momo attracts a fair smattering of beautiful people alongside couples on special dates, hen parties, and business types.

The soundtrack of classic Maghrebi beats and attractive young francophone waiting staff create a seductive buzz. Sexy Marrakech-style interiors, sparkling with light from intricately latticed mashrabiya-style windows and ornate metalwork lanterns, add to the allure.

Tables are small and tightly packed, but somehow this rarely seems an imposition.

Click HERE to book a table now!

10. Darwin Brasserie

This all-day brasserie near the top of the Walkie Talkie offers jaw-dropping views of London – and it’s much quicker to book a table here than wait for your turn in the Sky Garden (man, that waiting list is huge).

The menu offers accomplished yet anonymous dishes of the sort you find in high-end business hotels – but that’s not to say it doesn’t all taste delish.

You pay through the nose for this view, so first consider how desperate you are to see the whole of London at once, in miniature.

Click HERE to book a table now!

 

So there you have it our list of the 10 most Romantic Restaurants in London.  Did we miss any? Are there some others you have been to?  Why not mention them in the comments below?

 

To get ready for your date you might also want to read some of our other blog posts:

Should you plan your first date?

Avoid awkward silences: Questions to ask on the first date

 

So why not join our excellent Facebook group called “What’s the weather like up there” (We hope you like the name as much as us!), it’s great to share tall stories like this one, or tall humor, jokes, basically anything tall-related. You can join by clicking HERE.

 

The truth about why funny men are so attractive

why funny men are so attractive, tall funny men, tall men, funny men, single, dating

So why is it that funny men are so attractive?  Have you ever thought about it?

Look in the tabloids today and you can’t fail to spot that funny people are attracting really attractive partners, for example, Jennifer Anniston and Vince Vaughan, Sienna Miller and Rhys Ifans.

Singer Adele has even admitted that the way to her heart is to make her laugh.

Are men and women attracted by the same thing?

Men and Women it has to be remembered do base attractiveness on different things.

Men it seems would go for looks, women, on the other hand, are more focused on personality and confidence.

Being able to make someone laugh is a sign of confidence, I mean, do you ever see a shy person making someone laugh?

Recent studies have shown that women think men that are funny are smarter and interestingly, more likely to be honest. Two qualities that any women would like in their ideal partner.

So from a male point of view, women like to feel protected and safe. As we mentioned above funny men are seen as confident and perhaps this is another reason why women are attracted to them.

What does laughing do to you?

Laughing flushes you with endorphins, your natural feel-good chemicals, as well as reducing the negative stress hormones in your body.

When we laugh both our body and mind relaxes, we feel good about ourselves. So it makes perfect sense that we would want to be around someone who will make us feel that way.

As mentioned in a previous article this is exactly related to the “reward theory of attraction”.

Women, don’t make the men laugh on your first date

A word of caution to the women out there, do not make your male date laugh, at least on the first date anyway.

Studies have shown that if a woman tries to make a man laugh at her jokes when she first meets him, his eyes will look away from her.

Why? Well, remember we said that making someone laugh is a sign of confidence and social dominance? Well, a lot of men want to hold onto that card, so having women try and show they are more confident and dominant makes them feel inadequate and that’s never a good start in a relationship.

So women try to avoid that on your first date, you should be good to poke a little fun at the third or fourth date.

Finally just remember that laughter is a good tonic in a relationship. It keeps your relationship healthy, fun and alive.

It acts as a buffer to the stresses life throws at us all. Put simply, if you laugh together, you’ll stay together.

 

We have some other articles on similar theories that you can read here:

What is the reward theory of attraction?

What is the halo effect?

 

So why not join our excellent Facebook group called “What’s the weather like up there” (We hope you like the name as much as us!), it’s great to share tall stories like this one, or tall humor, jokes, basically anything tall-related. You can join by clicking HERE.

 

What is the Reward Theory of Attraction?

Reward Theory of Attraction, attraction, online dating, dating, singles

The reward theory of attraction states that the more someone’s presence makes us feel good, the more we prioritise that relationship.

It is even easier to understand the opposite way around. If someone constantly made you feel down and depressed, would you want to spend any considerable time with them?

The answer is surely no!

How does it work?

Our mind quickly associates us feeling good with that person and we go on to develop a new appreciation for them.

A fondness if you like for the things that make them unique. That is why, as ugly as it may be the way that someone’s nose wrinkles when they laugh, can set your heart racing.

This is the reward theory of attraction.

Wikipedia defines this as:

The theory that states that people like those whose behavior is rewarding to them or whom they associate with rewarding events.

More clearly stated this means people are attracted to those who in some way make them feel good or are attracted to those who remind them of people that they enjoy being around.

So how do you use this to your advantage when internet dating?

Right from the very outset, you need to make the person you want to date feel good. Get to know them and make your interactions as fun as possible.

Make sure they will always feel good when they read your message and that they realise you will be fun to be around.

It’s really quite simple, make someone feel good and in turn, they will want to be with you and will see you more attractive over time.

 

We have some other great articles on theories like this, the links for which are below:

What is Relational Mate Value?

What is the halo effect?

 

So why not join our excellent Facebook group called “What’s the weather like up there” (We hope you like the name as much as us!), it’s great to share tall stories like this one, or tall humor, jokes, basically anything tall-related. You can join by clicking HERE.

 

What is Relational Mate Value?

In this post, we look at what Relational Mate Value actually means.

Austin (US) researchers Paul Eastwick and Lucy Hunt have found that its uniqueness that defines attractiveness over time rather than just looks or charisma.

They found that over time, who we consider attractive changes.

People tend to form a uniform consensus about somebody’s appeal fairly quickly, for example, people would generally agree that David Beckham is good-looking male and Borris Johnson not so much.

Based on this you would think that David Beckham would be the winner in any romantic contest, which Borris Johnson would be left to fight for the scraps of affection.

Except that’s not how relationships are formed. In fact very, very few people (between 6% – 11%) fall in love at first sight or form a romantic relationship with someone they’ve recently met.

A large proportion of people in relationships tend to have known each other for quite some time, from weeks to months.

Now think again

Think again, who would give you a better evening (outside of the bedroom!), David Beckham (who sometimes finds it hard to string a sentence together) or Borris Johnson?

This is exactly where the uniqueness comes in… David Beckham may be good looking, but he is as dull as a brick, whereas Borris Johnson might not initially spark but he will he will constantly make you laugh and feel good about yourself.

So what does all this come down to?

Getting to know someone over time makes them more attractive to you. There will always be those people who are able to leverage looks for short-term advantage (the David Beckham’s of this world!), but in the long run it’s getting to know someone that ultimately makes them more attractive.

So how can you use this to your benefit when internet dating?

Well quite simply, get to know someone and don’t rush in looking for love! It’s as simple as that really.

When you message someone make it clear that you are trying to get to know them as a person, find out what makes them tick, what they enjoy doing, where they like to go traveling etc.

Building up a conversation this way, makes them feel that you’re trying to get to know them and doing this will make you more attractive to them over time.

 

So there you have it, we have some other great blogs that you can take a look at:

What is the Halo effect?

How relevant are looks when it comes to internet dating?

What is the Halo effect?

The Halo effect, question, halo effect, halo

The Halo effect is where good-looking people are perceived to be more trustworthy, kinder and smarter.

Well, it is a cognitive bias in which an observer’s overall impression of a person influences the observer’s feelings or thoughts about their character or properties.

Positive feelings in one area cause ambiguous or neutral traits to be viewed positively. In many scientific studies, attractiveness has meant that people are perceived to be trustworthy and friendly due to the halo effect.

The word halo is used in analogy with the religious concept, where a glowing circle is seen floating above the heads of saints in paintings. The observer is led to believe that anyone with a halo is a good and worthy person.

Attractiveness is not measured by the way someone dresses, this comes into the “first impression”. Attractiveness is based on the overall perception of the person.

How does this translate to dating?

Well in dating terms if someone is good looking, the opposite sex will subconsciously be thinking that will be great in a relationship. It almost makes them believe straight away that the relationship is going to work.

They might be the worst and nastiest person, but this is if you like masked by the “Halo” effect.

So this is how the following 4 groups should consider the “halo” effect:

1. Dating someone you perceive as attractive

Basically, watch out for the “halo” effect. They may well be trustworthy and friendly or is that what you are perceiving.

Back up your initial assertions with deeper conversation. Free your mind and make sure you are judging their personality on observable factors, not getting this confused by the “halo” effect.

2. If you know you are attractive

If you know you are attractive, you know you are going to be seen as trustworthy and friendly. You need to back this up with observable actions. This will reassure your date that it is not all in the looks.

3. Opening your eyes to someone who you perceive as not quite so attractive

You will always tend to want to go for someone who you perceive to be attractive, but there are plenty of other personality traits which you should consider.

Think about the way they make you feel in ways other than looks alone, look beyond your immediate first impression.

Try going on a few dates with someone who may not be your number 1 pick in terms of looks, but who you would still say is attractive.

They might just surprise you and you might well fall in love with them due to other compensating factors.

We are not saying you MUST go with someone you don’t find attractive at all as there has to be some spark.

But just don’t think that this is the most important/number 1 thing that you need to make it work.

4. If you know you’re not that attractive

Then you have to play to your other strengths, remember that someone is not going to find you immediately attractive and play to your other strengths.

Show that you are still kind and trustworthy (as the halo effect would provide if you were attracted to them.

 

So there you have it, this post sums up what the Halo effect is and what it means for you when dating.

 

So why not join our excellent Facebook group called “What’s the weather like up there” (We hope you like the name as much as us!), it’s great to share tall stories like this one, or tall humour, jokes, basically anything tall-related. You can join by clicking HERE.

 

How relevant are looks when it comes to online dating?

How relevant are looks when it comes to online dating, online dating, dating, single

Now, this is a pretty difficult to question, how relevant are looks when it comes to online dating.

I am sure people will have very different views on this. But let’s start with an extreme case which I think we can all agree on.

For this I am going to imagine we are female, I’m sure the men will be able to follow.

So your female, single and have started to internet date. The guy of your dreams (looks wise) messages you, of course, you like him so you message back and then you start seeing one another.

While all this is going on, someone else on the site, who was say 7/10 in the looks department messages you, but you don’t respond as you have booked the man of your dreams.

After a couple of weeks, things get serious and you move in together, but this is when the problems start.

You didn’t realise it at the time, but he is foul-mouthed, gets angry when things don’t go his way and he lets his steam out on you (i.e. there is physical abuse). You manage to get out of the relationship.

Looking back, could it have been different?

You go back to your messages and see the message from the guy who was 7/10, but he is now in a steady relationship. What you didn’t know was that he was kind, caring, affectionate and more importantly treated a lady like a lady.

Now, do you think she should have gone on looks? Did looks really matter in this instance?

The problem with internet dating as I have explained before is that it gives people choice. People really do believe they can meet the person of their dreams who has 10/10 looks! The reality is that it doesn’t happen.

So next time you shy away from messaging that person who is 7/10 in the looks stage, is it really worth giving them a miss? They could have a fantastic, warm personality which is just what you are looking for.

 

Even if you don’t think you are the best-looking person, treating people right will do wonders, we will have more on that in later blog posts.

However, you might also want to take a look at the following articles which will help you start dating

Should you update your profile?

Write that first message and make sure it gets a reply

 

So why not join our excellent Facebook group called “What’s the weather like up there” (We hope you like the name as much as us!), it’s great to share tall stories like this one, or tall humor, jokes, basically anything tall-related. You can join by clicking HERE.

 

Don’t make your online dating profile too picky!

online dating profile too picky, online profile, dating, singles, smartphone

Don’t join online dating and be picky!  This article explains why you don’t want to make your online dating profile too picky.

What do we mean by picky?

By picky we mean are you asking for too many things from your ideal partner.

Do you want them to be athletic, tall, slim, with blue eyes, a doctor or financial analyst, enjoy walks, be great at cooking, funny, witty, good character, degree educated, big built, look like David Beckham… and so the list continues.

It tends to be a trait of women’s profiles, but men also do the same. I think we can sum it up by saying are you looking for prince charming.

How to stop being picky!

Next time you log into your profile, go and re-read it and ask yourself how many things am I asking for in your ideal partner?

If its 1-2 you can probably include one more, if it’s 3-4 that’s about right, if it’s 5 plus you definitely want to think about taking a few things out!

Many of you are now covering your faces going “yes that sounds like me!” and if you’re not many of you should be.

It’s something which is very common and even if you haven’t put it in your profile many women have it in their head, which affects things when they meet up for the first date as they are constantly assessing.

Is being picky a problem?

Now we are not saying that you shouldn’t be picky, after all, you are going to be spending the rest of your life with this person if things get serious and there is no point in doing that with the wrong person!

Being a little choosy goes a long way.

Just look at the high rates of divorce, infidelity, domestic violence, crappy relationships etc… you definitely don’t want to get to the stage where you are walking down the aisle thinking that things aren’t right!

It’s not really about being “picky” it’s about being unrealistic. Can you really ask for all that? Well if you want to, you’re going to be single for a very very long time.

It’s all about compromise

Remember that with marriage comes compromise, you have to learn to accept those small things that aren’t quite to your liking, you will learn to overcome them!

Focus on your deal breakers first and then re-evaluate the rest of your list

So if you’re someone with 5 or more requirements list them out and then decide which is really important. Is it that he is funny, trustworthy, is honest, has compassion etc.?

Think hard and go for what you would call the deal breakers and then take all the others out of your profile.

An interesting requirement that the majority of people have is looks! But we tend to think that is over-rated. Let’s push it to an extreme:

Imagine you had met him/her and they had the looks you were always lusting after. You get into a relationship but it turns violent, they are aggressive, foul-mouthed and couldn’t care less about you.

On the same day that you were messaged by them, someone else had messaged you, they weren’t quite as good looking, so you rejected them.

Had you have gone out with them, you would have found that they were warm-hearted, fun loving, caring and a great person to be around. Would you feel stupid?

Now we are not saying that looks don’t matter. You do need a little bit of spark and lust when you meet up, but overall how important is it to you?

What to do if you are a picky person?

So you feel you are a picky person, here are the next steps you should follow:

1. Edit your profile – make sure it only contains 2 or 3 requirements, which are your absolute deal breakers!

2. Go on a date – anyone who matches those requirements who you’re messaging gets to go on a date. ANYONE!! You are now beginning to expand your horizon, be open-minded and remember that they have the three most desirable qualities you were looking for.

3. Broaden your “type” but trust your gut, there is a lot to be said for gut instinct so if you go with the approach and it still doesn’t feel right it’s probably best to leave it there. However, you might just find a little gem which you wouldn’t have previously given a second glance!

Choosing the right person is one of the most difficult aspects of internet dating, but we hope that this might have given you a few things to think about.

If you were a “picky” person and you tried this technique we would love to hear from you.

As always we wish you all the best in your search for love online.

 

Why not have a look at some of our other great blog posts:

5 top tips when choosing your online dating username

Top 8 tips for replying to an online dating message

 

So why not join our excellent Facebook group called “What’s the weather like up there” (We hope you like the name as much as us!), it’s great to share tall stories like this one, or tall humor, jokes, basically anything tall-related. You can join by clicking HERE.