How relevant are looks when it comes to online dating?

Now, this is a pretty difficult to question, how relevant are looks when it comes to online dating.

I am sure people will have very different views on this. But let’s start with an extreme case which I think we can all agree on.

For this I am going to imagine we are female, I’m sure the men will be able to follow.

So your female, single and have started to internet date. The guy of your dreams (looks wise) messages you, of course, you like him so you message back and then you start seeing one another.

While all this is going on, someone else on the site, who was say 7/10 in the looks department messages you, but you don’t respond as you have booked the man of your dreams.

After a couple of weeks, things get serious and you move in together, but this is when the problems start.

You didn’t realise it at the time, but he is foul-mouthed, gets angry when things don’t go his way and he lets his steam out on you (i.e. there is physical abuse). You manage to get out of the relationship.

Looking back, could it have been different?

You go back to your messages and see the message from the guy who was 7/10, but he is now in a steady relationship. What you didn’t know was that he was kind, caring, affectionate and more importantly treated a lady like a lady.

Now, do you think she should have gone on looks? Did looks really matter in this instance?

The problem with internet dating as I have explained before is that it gives people choice. People really do believe they can meet the person of their dreams who has 10/10 looks! The reality is that it doesn’t happen.

So next time you shy away from messaging that person who is 7/10 in the looks stage, is it really worth giving them a miss? They could have a fantastic, warm personality which is just what you are looking for.


Even if you don’t think you are the best-looking person, treating people right will do wonders, we will have more on that in later blog posts.

However, you might also want to take a look at the following articles which will help you start dating

Should you update your profile?

Write that first message and make sure it gets a reply


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