What is Relational Mate Value?

In this post, we look at what Relational Mate Value actually means.

Austin (US) researchers Paul Eastwick and Lucy Hunt have found that its uniqueness that defines attractiveness over time rather than just looks or charisma.

They found that over time, who we consider attractive changes.

People tend to form a uniform consensus about somebody’s appeal fairly quickly, for example, people would generally agree that David Beckham is good-looking male and Borris Johnson not so much.

Based on this you would think that David Beckham would be the winner in any romantic contest, which Borris Johnson would be left to fight for the scraps of affection.

Except that’s not how relationships are formed. In fact very, very few people (between 6% – 11%) fall in love at first sight or form a romantic relationship with someone they’ve recently met.

A large proportion of people in relationships tend to have known each other for quite some time, from weeks to months.

Now think again

Think again, who would give you a better evening (outside of the bedroom!), David Beckham (who sometimes finds it hard to string a sentence together) or Borris Johnson?

This is exactly where the uniqueness comes in… David Beckham may be good looking, but he is as dull as a brick, whereas Borris Johnson might not initially spark but he will he will constantly make you laugh and feel good about yourself.

So what does all this come down to?

Getting to know someone over time makes them more attractive to you. There will always be those people who are able to leverage looks for short-term advantage (the David Beckham’s of this world!), but in the long run it’s getting to know someone that ultimately makes them more attractive.

So how can you use this to your benefit when internet dating?

Well quite simply, get to know someone and don’t rush in looking for love! It’s as simple as that really.

When you message someone make it clear that you are trying to get to know them as a person, find out what makes them tick, what they enjoy doing, where they like to go traveling etc.

Building up a conversation this way, makes them feel that you’re trying to get to know them and doing this will make you more attractive to them over time.


So there you have it, we have some other great blogs that you can take a look at:

What is the Halo effect?

How relevant are looks when it comes to internet dating?

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