Ways to avoid first date nerves and anxiety

Well, you should be aware that it is quite natural to have some nerves and anxiety before a first date. But it is understandable that you will want to avoid first date nerves and anxiety as much as possible.

You are after all going to meet up with and spend a couple of hours chatting with someone you have never seen before.

Even the people you wouldn’t expect to have nerves, still do but they do view them as positive nerves. Pop stars before they head out on the big stage suffer, so do actors/actresses and sports starts.

I think the key is that some nerves are definitely good, they get you ready for the event, they make you excited and pop stars say they make them perform at their top level.

However, if the nerves are too strong, they can make you feel anxious, sick, dizzy and generally rubbish, these are the ones to avoid.

So how do we avoid those type, here are a few things you might want to consider:

1. Keep the first meeting short.

Go for a short first date, the ideal scenario is a lunchtime meeting as you know this has to be short to allow you to get back to work.

If not a drink after work, but make sure you let them know you have plans later (even if you don’t) or brunch at the weekend.

If you think it is going to be a short period this will relax you. Spending up to two hours with someone you don’t know is much easier than spending up to four hours for example.

2. Get the best possible start

Before the date “pump yourself up”, put on your favorite music, spend some time getting ready, wear something that makes you feel attractive and confident, think positively.

Brainstorm at least two positive qualities about yourself and soak them in.

3. Replace an anxious thought with something more positive

Anxious thoughts circle in your mind. Try to stop that by thinking positively, such as “this could be the start of years of happiness”, “I deserve to find love” etc.

4. Be excited about the possibility of finding love

You should be excited, you’re going on a fun date and meeting someone new. Focus on hope, new potential, happiness, connection, and adventure.

5. Release endorphins 

You could release some endorphins before going on the date, with a little light exercise.

We wouldn’t suggest you run a marathon, but you could do some yoga, go for a swim or a light jog around the block.

6. Reflect on past anxious events

Reflect on events in the past where you were anxious but all ended up being fine, such as your driving test, school exams, buying a house etc.

7. Jot down a few conversation points

Write down on a very small piece of paper a few conversation points you could use.

You can also make an excuse to take a quick look at the list, such as visiting the lavatory or going to the bar to get drinks. Just having that safety net there will relax you.

8. Give yourself a reality check

Manage your expectations. Yes, there are going to be some boring dates, but there will also be some that are really fun!

There might be somewhere you don’t click, there might be others where you flirt outrageously. If life was constantly the same, it would be boring right?

So embrace the difference!

9. Ground yourself before leaving home

Take a few deep breaths and tell yourself positive things, such as “I am strong”, “I can handle this”.

10. They will be just as nervous

If it helps to think of others going through the same thing, then remember your date will be just as nervous, so you’re definitely not alone.


So there you have it 10 pointers to help you avoid first date nerves and anxiety.

Go on, go and enjoy a date, embrace the experience and find love. You have nothing to lose but lots to gain!


Why not take a look at some of our other posts which might help with your first date?

Fun first or second date ideas

Should you plan your first date?


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