Write an attention-grabbing headline for your online dating message

attention-grabbing headline, Stack of newspapers, headlines, print
Stack of newspapers

In this article, we explain ways that you can write an attention-grabbing headline for your online dating messages!

After all, if they don’t open and read your message, there is no way you’re going to get to go on a date with them!

Think about it what’s the first thing a potential date will see about you on a dating site?

As I have mentioned on here on more than one occasion the first thing a member will see of you on an online dating site will be either:

A. Your profile photo – if they are running a search.

B. Your profile photo and the subject line of your message – if you have messaged them.

So your photo and the subject line of your message carry a lot of weight when you are trying to find someone to date.

We have already covered setting up your photo, you can refer to these previous posts for that:

1. What makes a bad profile photo?

2. What makes a good profile photo?

3. What additional photos should you upload to your profile? 

But now we need to write attention-grabbing headlines for online dating messages so that they get opened and read!  So here are our tips!

1. Subject lines to avoid

You need to avoid going for the common subject lines as they just will not stand out in the message list in someone’s inbox.

Here are a few examples:

A. Well, I didn’t know what to put! (Far too common!)
B. Hey…. (anything starting Hey, Hi, How ya going, How ya doing…. Are terrible!)
C. What’s up (just terrible!)
D. saw your message on here and I just had to message you (again terrible!)
E. I’m the one you have been looking for (don’t ever come across overconfident)
F. You are who I have been looking for all my life (don’t use the life has dealt me a bad card line)

2. Write the message first.

As mentioned in our post about writing messages we suggest that you may want to write the message first so that your subject goes with your message.

3. Try to use something from their profile.

As mentioned when we discussed writing the initial message if you can drop hints in the subject that you have read their profile it will increase the chances of your message being read.

Let’s say they talk about being movie mad in their profile. You drop a few hints that you like movies in your message and your subject line could be “let’s film a hopeless romantic film together?”, or “I don’t want you to be the star of Bridget Jones IV”.

Or for example, they may love skiing, so again you spoke about it in your message and then what about the subject being “Should we try a black run together?”, or “Have you skied down a slope hand in hand?”

4. So what if their profile doesn’t give much away? Then what?

We have come up with a few subject lines and first message lines below that should get you started.  Remember we want to write attention-grabbing headlines to get our message read.

A. Attention-grabbing headline: Do not read this!
First line of the message: Unless you’re going to say yes to a date. Oh, dear looks like we need to arrange that now!

B. Attention-grabbing headline: 5 things you didn’t know about me
First line of the message: Well ok I will give you one of them, but the others you will have to get on our first date. [Then go on to tell them one really interesting/different thing about you]

C. Attention-grabbing headline: I can read your mind
First line of the message: You had to click read!

D. Attention-grabbing headline: !NEPO TSUM UOY
First line of the message: [Anything you want it to be]

E. Attention-grabbing headline: Open and you won’t be disappointed
First line of the message: [Anything you want it to be]

F. Attention-grabbing headline: I love this place……
First line of the message: which serves fantastic Italian food in a very rustic atmosphere! Dinner there would be my treat.

G. Attention-grabbing headline: Knock, Knock…. Who’s there?
First line of the message: A Hopeless romantic?

H. Attention-grabbing headline: I want to grab your attention!!!!!!!!!!!!!
First line of the message: Great now that I have it here is a little bit of information about me.

I. Attention-grabbing headline: You will smile when you read this…
First line of the message: As I smiled when I wrote it.

5. Don’t ramble!

Don’t make your first message too long, I would suggest a couple of paragraphs in length. One paragraph to tell them something interesting about yourself and one to tell them why you were interested in their profile.


So have you got any great headlines for first messages that you would like to share with us?  Leave them in the comments below.


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