Stop these bad dating habits right now!

bad dating habits, dating, online dating, dating habits

Are you getting dates? If not it could be that you have developed some bad dating habits.

In this post, we explore what these bad habits could be and how we overcome them.

1. Being too available

There is a very fine balance when dating regarding time. I think these days we always seem time pressured and never seem to have enough of it!

You have to juggle so many things in your life, including your dating relationship.

But don’t be too available in the early stages of a relationship. For example, don’t say you can make a date today at the drop of a hat and then after the date call them again and ask if they want to go on another date.

Imagine you were on the other end of that, what would you be thinking?

  • 1.1. Wow they are very keen
  • 1.2. Don’t they have any other friends?
  • 1.3. Are they desperate?
  • 1.4. Are they willing to cancel their entire social life just for me? (Scary)

You wouldn’t want to come across in any of these ways, would you? But equally not being available enough also has its problems, namely…

2. Not being available enough

Quite simply, this gives the other person the following thoughts:

  • 2.1. If they don’t have the time to date? Why are they bothering and wasting my time?
  • 2.2 Don’t they like me? Are they too afraid to tell me to my face?
  • 2.3 they are not interested in me

Plus of course, there is no way for you to really get to know that other person,

As mentioned above you don’t want to be available all the time, but equally, you don’t want to be unavailable all of the time! So you must get the balance right. If you’re planning to meet up, give a couple of dates, if you can’t make a date you have set

3. Engaging in off-putting behavior

I’m sure when we think of it we all know examples of off-putting behavior but here are some we thought of:

  • 3.1 picking your nose!
  • 3.2 not blowing your nose when it is running
  • 3.3 Farting
  • 3.4 drinking more than you should and making an idiot of yourself
  • 3.5 Making every other word a swear word

These type of behaviors are not going to do you any good at all. Would you want to show off anyone who does any of the above to your friends and family?

The answer, of course, is no.

Therefore in their mind, they are going to completely turn off you. Be a gentleman/lady and you will find you get much better results.

4. Online Stalking

So it’s ok to google their name once before you meet up just so you know they are not involved in anything they shouldn’t be or covering something up. But don’t stray too much further than the results page.

Certainly do not try and stalk them on Facebook or twitter and definitely do not try and track down their ex on social media.

What we are trying to say is a quick search is fine to establish would they are, a full blow investigation/stalking (like opening a “CSI” case) is simply unacceptable.

5. Being too picky

The internet dating world really has meant that we can all be a little too picky. People now turn off people if their eyes are “blue” and they only like “green”.

If there is one problem with internet dating, it’s that you can be too picky. So don’t have that list of 288 “must haves”. Trim it down to your “must have” 3 requirements and if they meet those give them the first date.

Who knows opening your net a little wider might just bag you the one you want.

6. Putting your life aside

Don’t give up on your friends, your hobbies, and your social life, just because you have met someone who you like. In the early stages, you should try and still keep in touch with those groups as well as spend time with your date.

This way they know what you value in your life. As your relationship progresses you can then introduce them to your friends and people in your social circle.

Dating is one big juggling act. You have to find the time to fit everyone in and it is never easy. But a golden rule is to give everyone a piece of you and let everyone know why it is only that time you can give to them.

Plus give yourself some time so you can unwind and relax.

7. Being stuck in the past

You should never dwell on the past even when you’re not in a relationship. The past is after all the past! So move on and give every new date a new opportunity, don’t expect them to fail like your ex did!

So move on, get on with life and enjoy. Look forward and enjoy life and the new experiences that come with it.

 

So there you have our 7 bad dating habits!  Which ones are you guilty of?

Have we missed any from our list? Put them in the comments if we have.

 

Other similar articles you might be interested in:

The truth about why funny men are so attractive

Don’t make these 5 internet dating mistakes

Join our community

So why not join our excellent Facebook group called “What’s the weather like up there” (We hope you like the name as much as us!), it’s great to share tall stories like this one, or tall humor, jokes, basically anything tall-related. You can join by clicking HERE.

Should you regularly log into your online dating account?

In this post, we explain why you should regularly log into your online dating account.

When search results are shown, most dating sites will show the date of last activity/login for each profile.

In order to keep this as recent as possible, we do advise that you should log into your online dating account on a regular basis.

This will also help your online dating experience in the following ways (by regular we mean at a minimum once every two days):

1. Other members know you’re interested in dating

Imagine you saw two almost identical profiles, one of them had been on the site in less than 48 hours the other is over hasn’t been on the site for over 3 months.

Which one do you think you would more likely send a message to? Yes, exactly the one who had been active within 48 hours as you can see there is more chance of them seeing your message and responding.

2. Search results

Search results are often displayed to members in the order of last activity. So the more recent it is that you have logged on the better your chance of getting to the top of the search results. You want to be at the top as they may never get down to page 5!

In order to show activity, you don’t have to even do anything on the site all you need to make sure is that you have logged into the member’s area.

So there you go, log on regularly to see some great benefits.

 

When you next log on, you might want to consider a spring clean, why not take a look at the following two blog posts to see if its needed?

A post on what makes a good profile photo

A post on if you should update your online dating profile

 

Should you update your profile?

Should you update your profile?, online profile, online dating, singles
Heart made from stones

You have been on a dating site for some time and your wondering, should you update your profile?  In this blog post, we answer why we think you should!

We believe you should update your profile on a fairly regular basis, say bi-weekly or monthly. The reason is that your profile should be a statement about you and your life and that is never written in stone, is it?

If possible not only should you change the written content you should also consider changing your photos, there are a few reasons why this might work to your advantage:

1. It keeps your content fresh

There will be single people who read your profile one day and think, umm they sound nice but I’m not quite sure. Take our word for it, they will come back to your profile and they will read it again!

Wouldn’t it be great if when they read it again they see something new and exciting in there? If you have updated your profile before they go back again they might just find something in that new content that means they want to contact you.

Something new might be just the deal clincher they were looking for. So go on, keep it fresh and keep it up to date.

2. It might put you at the top of the search results

By keeping your profile up to date it might put your profile at the top of the search results. When a dating site returns profiles from a members search, they have to decide how to present those search results.

This can be done by “last activity” (i.e the last time that someone logged onto their profile), it can also be done by “proximity” (i.e the distance they live from you) but what if you are still equal with someone?

They may well base it on when the profile was last updated. So keeping your profile up to date might also rank your profile higher in search results, which for obvious reasons is a good thing!

3. It might mean you make it onto daily emails

All dating sites usually send out a dating email that draws attention to profiles that the recipient of that mail might be interested in. Dating sites will send out a number of emails to members.

But there are a couple which might include your profile if you have updated it. One is an email that says “have you considered contacting these members?” and when they select these profiles it will be based on whether you “fit” the requirements but then it could be down to whether you have an up to date profile (as mentioned above).

Other emails show members who “have just added more photos”, this means you might appear on those emails if you have swapped/added photos. Lastly, we have seen some that show members who have simply “updated their profile”, which is what we are talking about in this post.

In order to remind yourself to update your profile, why don’t you set up calendar alerts

 

While you are thinking about updating your profile.  Why not think about updating your photos?  We have a great  post on the best profile photos, you can read it HERE.

Updating your profile might get you a date, so why not check out our post on First and Second date ideas.

 

Single men, want to know how to write the perfect profile?

know how to write the perfect profile, Single man looking to the sky, single, dating,
Single man looking to the sky

Single men take note! This article explains everything.  After reading it you will know how to write the perfect profile.

We have taken a look at the profiles of our male members and we are now giving an honest review with examples! Actual extracts from members profiles are in bold italics with square brackets []

Single men, take note of these bad profiles

Single men, take note!  This is what you DON’T want to do!

1. No example, but 90% of the profiles we read had spelling/grammar errors.

So please write your profile in a word document first, run a spelling and grammar check and then copy and paste it into your profile.

2. [Look no further, evenings and weekends need not be boring anymore. Now this is something of a cliché]

Never put the word cliché in your post, that’s a cliché in itself!

3. [I equally happy indoors and outdoors]

Well firstly, this is exactly how it was written. Do you think they read their profile? It’s terrible grammar.

Apart from that the number of times people put they love the outdoors, they love being outside, they love being in the fresh air. Well doesn’t everyone.

It would be better to say what you enjoy doing outdoors, it could be “going on long rambles” or “walking along the seafront”.

4. [Recently travelled the world for a year, Japan, NZ and Canada among the places I went to, would like to meet someone interested in travelling also but not essential.]

So, this is not too bad, but everyone always talks about travelling and visiting places, your profile is not going to stand out if you labour on about this one.

5. [After a couple of years spent working too hard, I’m out to reclaim my personal life, and a lot of folks havesuggested internet dating, so here I am]

This was someone’s entire profile. It’s far too short, contains lots of spelling/grammar errors and doesn’t really say anything.

6. [I enjoy trying to make people laugh I think having a good laugh is important life is too short so you might as well enjoy it]

People always talk about humour and having a laugh, if you want to stand out then avoid mentioning it.

Doesn’t everyone want to be with someone who puts a smile on their face and makes them laugh?

7. [Just looking for Miss Right!]

It’s mentioned so many times in various ways, we also see “Just looking for the one”, “Just looking for my one in a million”, and “they say there is someone out there for everyone”.

Get the picture? Again isn’t everyone on a dating site looking for this? Why state it then?

8. [Never quite sure what to say] or [Hi, never done anything like this before so not too sure what to expect, just looking to meet someone new and see what happens] or [Am I the only one who’s rewritten their ad several hundred times?]

These are all the same theme. Firstly no one ever knows what to say and secondly, everyone says it is new to them.Well isn’t internet dating new to everyone at some point?

Well isn’t internet dating new to everyone at some point? It’s common, won’t make your profile stand out and so don’t put anything like this in your profile.

9. [Hope you enjoy my profile and pictures, but please have at least 1 picture as this is not a blind dating website, and I wish you all well in your search,]

You don’t have to state this on your profile make your decision as to whether you want to reply once you have received the email.

Not replying to someone as they don’t have any photos up is fine, but you don’t need to state that in your profile.

10. [FOR SALE – One knight in slightly rusty armour minus his trusty white steed… Sensible offers considered!]

Just terrible! You’re not up for sale on a dating site, it isn’t remotely funny!

11. [And how about I top it all off with a relaxing scalp and shoulder massage to help you drift off into complete bliss…]

There is no way you should be talking this intimate in your profile. It comes across as if you are very forward and that is not going to work.

 

Single men, take note of these good profiles so you know how to write the perfect profile!

Unfortunately, there were much fewer examples of things that were good, but here are a couple of things we spotted:

1. [I am hoping to meet someone who is prepared to take the time to get to know each other better and see where it leads. At the very least I make great conversation, I am honest, and I have a great sense of humour]

Very heartfelt and very honest. We believe that is one of the most important things when you write your profile. Make it sincere, honest and simple.

2. [If I had to pick three words to describe myself I’d say… funny, generous and caring]

We think it is a great idea to pick 3 things that describe yourself. In our example, this is all they mentioned on it, but you could add a couple of sentences to explain why that is.

#3. [If I were to describe myself in one sentence – a gent who will open the door for you and offer you my coat when you’re cold]

Surely every woman would love a man like that!

So there you have it.  After reading this you should know how to write the perfect profile.

 

So is your profile picture ok, read our three-part series to make sure it is!

Part I: What makes a bad profile photo? 

Part II: What makes a good profile photo?

Part III: What additional photo’s should you upload to your profile?

 

If you’re at the stage of writing messages, you could also take a look at:

Write an attention-grabbing headline for your online dating message

 

Is Tallsingles.co.uk any good?

Is tallsingles.co.uk any good? Online dating for tall people, question mark
question mark

Well put very simply, yes it is! But how do I prove that to you? Well in my mind there are only three ways to answer: Is tallsingles.co.uk any good?

The first is to boast about membership numbers, the second is to show you some success stories, the third is to share some customer feedback and lastly, we can tell you about our tall community.

So here goes…

1. Membership numbers

Membership has increased rapidly since we started the site back in 2010. We now have 1.5 million members and in some cases, we are beginning to beat some of the more mainstream sites in search results.

2. Success stories

Well, it’s hard to say how many people have found relationships on the site as they don’t tend to all tell us all the time so we have no way of knowing.

However, we do hear of people meeting and getting married as when that happens they want to tell everyone and share their dating success with us. Over the X

Since 2010 to date, we have been informed of 35 marriages. Again that’s only what we have been told about so the actual number could be much higher.

Here is one lovely couple’s story:

“Ian and I met on TallSingles.co.uk and we are now very happily married. Your site really gave us both hope that there was something out there for taller single people. Previously I had been trying to meet men in bars and clubs, but it just wasn’t working, plus most of the men I met that way were too “short”. Now I have met and married the tall, dark and handsome man of my dreams and I could not be happier”
Ian and Sue, London

3. Customer feedback

We are very pleased with our customer feedback. We truly care about our members and want to see them find love online. Here are a few of the positive emails we have received from members:

“It’s a fantastic dating site”
“The team behind tallsingles.co.uk understand tall people and want to help in any way they can”
“If you are tall and single this is the site to join!”
“Your site has the feel of a tall community and that’s why I think it is so different to any other dating site out there”
“I’m a 6’6’’ man and on here the women want me, as they all want to meet a tall guy, that’s great news for me”
“My first date on tallsingles.co.uk and I was able to wear my 3-inch killer heels and still be shorter!”

4. A thriving tall community

We have a thriving tall community on Facebook.  Tall people hang out in a Facebook group called “What’s the weather like up there” (We hope you like the name as much as us!), it’s great to share tall stories like this one, or tall humour, jokes, basically anything tall-related. You can join by clicking HERE.

So have you made up your mind, you now know how we answer: Is tallsingles.co.uk any good?

Why not judge for yourself if we are any good by joining for free and taking a look around?  Or enter your email address in the box below and we will send you a code for one month’s FREE premium membership.

 

Don’t forget to also take a look at our other great articles:

Why tallsingles.co.uk?

Will other singles like me on Tallsingles.co.uk?

 

Will other singles like me on Tallsingles.co.uk?

Will other singles like me on Tallsingles.co.uk, will I be liked, how to be liked
Like scrabble tiles

What I want to know is “Will other singles like me on tallsingles.co.uk?” (this is a common question we hear!)

The simple answer is you won’t know until you join! It’s as simple as that.  But you can help yourself, you need to give yourself every possible chance to get noticed on tallsingles.co.uk.

There is someone out there for everyone.

Here are our top tips for making sure that you get seen and arrange a date on tallsingles.co.uk

1. Upload good photos

Ok we are going to be truthful here, the first impression someone will have of you on a dating site is either:

a) your photo (when searching online) or

b) your photo and the subject line of your message (if you send them a message)

See the one common theme here? It’s your photo.

The simplest advice about your photos is:

  • Make it recent
  • Make it clear
  • Your main picture has to be of you looking straight forward.
  • Make sure you smile and look happy in the photo
  • Make sure it’s a good likeness.
  • No nudity

You can read more about profile photo’s in these blog posts:

What makes a bad profile photo?

What makes a good profile photo?

What additional photos should you upload to your profile?

2. Take time to complete your profile

Again more to come on this later but you need to make sure you take time to complete your profile.Why?

Why? Well, it’s what our computer programme uses to select you in search results, plus it tells your potential partner what your likes and interests are!

A first section is a number of multiple choice questions, the answers of which help our computer decide on how to display you in the results of a search.For

For example, if you select “movies” as one of your interests, then if someone runs a search and is looking for someone who enjoys “movies”, it means you may come up in those results as you are relevant to that search.

When completing this section you need to make sure you select the correct boxes so you get matched with the right person.

The second section is some free format questions where you can talk about yourself and what you are looking for in your ideal partner. Look out for our blog post on how to complete this. But for now, make it clear, make it interesting and make it relevant.

3. Log on often

Members will look at how frequent you are logging onto the site as it gives an indication as to how serious you are. Someone logging on three times a week is much more serious about dating than someone who is logging in once a month.

4. Don’t be frightened to contact other members

Yes, why don’t you make the make the first move (and yes I am talking to women here too!). If you see someone you like why don’t you send them a wink to let them know you are interested (which you can do with free membership). You can see how they respond.

All of the methods above will try and establish if someone will contact you before you pay your membership.

However, you are not really going to know until you join up. When you join up, you can message members. And that gets you to step 5:

5. Message a member and get a response.

If you message someone with the right email subject, to the right person and they like your photo and profile you WILL get a response.

We will be posting on here the right way to message someone online from how to write the message subject line to the first killer paragraph. This along with the 4 points mentioned above should get you a date!

And remember:

6. Thousands of members are joining every week

So no one messaged you back this week, don’t worry there are a thousand more you can message next week. If dating is a numbers game we have it covered.We have literally thousands of members joining every week, so if no-one messages you this week, there will be 1,000’s of different people to message next week.

We have literally thousands of members joining every week, so if no-one messages you this week, there will be 1,000’s of different people to message next week.

 

So that’s our roundup

Now don’t forget to also become part of our community.  Join our excellent Facebook group called “What’s the weather like up there” (We hope you like the name as much as us!), it’s great to share tall stories like this one, or tall humour, jokes, basically anything tall-related. You can join by clicking HERE.

 

So will other singles like me on Tallsingles.co.uk? You will only know if you Join!

So go on don’t be frightened, take the first step and sign up for free today, by heading over to tallsingles.co.uk.  Oh and by the way, if you enter your email address in the box below we will also throw in one month’s premium membership for FREE!

 

So what’s the downside of internet dating?

Thumb down, downside of internet dating, internet dating, dating
Thumb down

So what is the downside of internet dating? Is there one? Well, let’s look at a few things which might help you decide for yourself.

Too much choice!

One word sums up the downside of internet dating and that is CHOICE.  You see the internet has allowed single people to shop around for their partner.  Much like going to the shops and choosing Cadburys chocolate rather than Sainsbury’s own, you can now choose a blonde over a brunette.

Much like going to the shops and choosing Cadburys chocolate rather than Sainsbury’s own, you can now choose a blonde over a brunette.

You can even say yes to a date by “swiping” your finger left or right on a phone app! In case you hadn’t guessed it that’s Tinder!

It’s not like it was!

The dating scene has dramatically changed from what it was.  I have talked lots about the dating scene before the internet and basically, you had fewer options to find your ideal partner and I believe subconsciously due to that you would settle for less “ticks” on your ideal partner score sheet.

Now in the 21st century…

However, internet dating has done away with that.  Tallsingles, for example, has 1.5 million members split roughly 50:50 male and female.  So you have 700,000 singles to choose from, that’s a hell of a lot of people and so you can be selective.

And it is growing!

Not only that but with so many people joining each week, even if there is someone you don’t like on the site today, there may be someone who joins tomorrow who you do like!

Here is where choice comes in!

You can choose dates based on all sorts of things from height (a popular choice on tallsingles.co.uk), to interests to job title to even something as vain as eye colour!

It’s like being able to walk into a bar and firstly ask everyone who is single to stand up and everyone who is taken to sit down, then being able to walk around them all and look at their CV before choosing the one you would like to take on a date.

So is choice good?

I’m not sure it is, as having a choice doesn’t necessarily mean “spark” and if there is something you want in a relationship it is a spark!  I don’t believe choice gives you that.

That said what choice can give you is an opportunity.  The opportunity to find someone SINGLE who is two inches taller than you so you can wear those killer heels.

The opportunity to find someone SINGLE who lives within 5 miles from you so it doesn’t take long to travel to theirs and meet up.  The opportunity to find someone SINGLE who enjoys the same hobby as you.  Surely it is better to have a CHOICE than no choice at all?

Over to you…

I will ultimately let you make your mind up.  If you are unsure why not join up to a dating site for free and judge for yourself?

 

Are you thinking about joining a dating site?  Why not read our guide on: Will other singles like me on tallsingles.co.uk?

 

A bit about our tall and friendly CEO Richard Vickery

Richard Vickery, CEO, tallsingles..co.uk, tall, tallsingles
Richard Vickery CEO of tallsingles.co.uk

An exciting day for me (Richard Vickery) as I have just opened up the new blog for tallsingles.co.uk.

I thought I should start by introducing myself, so here is a tall diary about me:

A bit about me (Richard Vickery CEO Tallsingles.co.uk)

I’m Richard Vickery, a certified accountant who is 6 ft 7 inches tall. Am I tall? Well, there is no magic number for being tall, but I feel tall. Having started this website for tall dating and talking to other “tall” people I know I am by no means the tallest person on the planet, but I do share the tall problems which many tall people encounter.

For me, I don’t really recall standing out at junior school. I was a little bit taller than the other kids, but not by much. In fact, I don’t even recall kids saying anything really to me about my height at that age. It wasn’t until I hit senior school that I had a big growth spurt.  It came from my legs as I remember I had a very high waistline (think Simon Cowell) which kids teased me about at school.

I was also terrible at sports, which was a really good way for other kids to tease me. I remember kids saying I could “just step over the hurdles” and “high jump should be easy”.  But of course athleticism doesn’t come with height and so I was always well behind the other kids. My mum always had to let down the turn-ups on my trousers so they didn’t stop halfway up my leg.  I had to wear a different type of shirt so the sleeves were not too short.  All these little things, you wouldn’t think other kids would spot, but they did and they would always make a point of it!

I can’t remember all the names I got called, certainly “Lurch” (the tall one from the Adams family), “BFG” (short for big friendly giant), “tower” (an obvious one) and “lanky”. It must have had an effect on me as I do feel I hunched at school, frightened to stand tall, wanting and wishing I was much smaller. Terrible now when I think of it, but at the time all you want to do is fit in!

Just I was finishing school, I found a sport that I love and am fairly good at, which turns out to be golf. But again being tall makes it harder for me than other shorter people. For example, I do have to have longer clubs, so I can’t just go into a golf shop and buy a club I need to order one in. I can’t wear the golf branded t-shirts or trousers as they never fit. Even at the golf club which I joined, they decided I had to have a nickname, so someone came up with “stretch” and I am still known to this day as “stretch” rather than Richard.

As you get older it gets easier to live with

I found things are slightly easier to deal with at university and work, there is much less name calling, but I still frequently get asked “how tall are you?” and “do you play basketball?” But I think the biggest change now is that I have admitted to myself that I am tall and that I am different in height to others around me. I try to walk tall, stand tall and not worry about being different. I have come to embrace the fact that I am tall and not worry about it. Yes, of course, it is annoying that people still point out that I am tall and yes sometimes it still does get me down, but on the whole, I laugh it off or say something witty back!

Now I admit that I am tall all I need to do is manage that “tallness”. There are many bad things associated with being tall, lots of them you can’t do anything about, so I try and focus on the things that I can do something about. For example, I try and eat healthily, exercise regularly and look after my body. I know that my back could become an issue in the future so I am trying to look after it now. That includes stretching it in the morning and evening, sitting with the correct posture at work, standing tall (no slouching), sitting with the correct posture and always keeping a straight back.

 

One last thing….

We have a tall community and I would love it if you became part of it!

It’s a Facebook group called “What’s the weather like up there” (We hope you like the name as much as us!), it’s great to share tall stories like this one, or tall humour, jokes, basically anything tall-related. You can join by clicking HERE.

Now it’s over to you.. tell me your tall life story

So that’s a bit about me and my tall life. What about you and yours? Would love to hear your story!

Thanks for your time,

Richard Vickery (CEO tallsingles.co.uk)